I am so lost at this current moment and I can't even describe how this rock in the pit of my stomach is making me feel. I suppose the best way to describe it is that I feel like someone cut me open, shoved a boulder in my stomach, stitched me up and pushed me off a cliff. I fell for several hundred feet and am now helpless at the bottom of the ocean, struggling to claw this death-instrument from my insides.
At the beginning of the summer I came down with a wretched case of mono. I was incredibly ill for about 3 weeks. After about the first week I told my self and my mom that i needed to be seen by a doctor. My airway had swelled so it was the size of a dime. I couldn't sleep, couldn't breathe easily, couldn't do anything. I was also acutely aware of my lack of health insurance. It's what prevented me from going to the doctor the week before, when my symptoms started showing up fast. I decided that it was worth knowing what was killing me slowly. I'd just have to deal with the bill later.
The people at the ER were phenomenal. They treated me with patience, kindness and respect (well, except the triage nurse. She was a bitch.) As I was leaving, they handed me some papers to fill out. If I completed them and returned them within 10 days then I could receive some help with payment. Like the good child I am, I hastened in my lethargic, oxygen-less state to get the stuff done and send it in. Then I waited.
All the while my mom lectured me on why I need to go to the welfare office because I can get the bill paid for and they'll give me insurance and why don't you listen to this and maybe you can get food stamps. Stop. Just stop. For some reason I was too proud to admit that I had a serious issue and needed to take her advice seriously.
I'm kicking myself now. I also hate her because of her condescending "I-told-you-so" attitude. I don't need to hear it right now. Ok? I admit that I was stupid. I admit that I should not have gone to the ER to get tests done. I would have been fine in a couple of weeks...there wasn't anything that they could do anyway. Gah. If only I had a crystal ball I could really stop myself from being so foolish. I would also be insanely rich because I would be able to tell the winning lotto numbers before they're drawn. I'd be famous. Yep. (Only I wouldn't want to be famous because then people watch and nag you even more.)
I currently have $1400+ owed to various places, not including credit card companies. DUMB. Yep, that's my new name. I have about $600 due to Alma College for them screwing up my life and I have over $800 due to Henry Ford Health System for, well, them doing nothing but steal my blood. Vampires.
And how exactly do I, the job-less college super-senior, plan on paying all of this off?
...Is prostitution an option?
Do you have any advice for me? I am in *deep* and need help ASAP. I also accept charitable donations payable to "Iam Screwed."
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